


All in (for the sake of it)

by LilJiji



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Boys Kissing, Double Life, Drinking, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, More in the notes, Multi, OT8, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Police officers, Polyamorous Stray Kids Ensemble, Porn With Plot, Robbery, Smoking, Smut, Swearing, alternative universe - all in mv, smut and plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:13:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29534562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilJiji/pseuds/LilJiji
Summary: Having a double life and trying to arrest yourself and your friends it’s getting out of hand quickly and Minho has already had enough. Although he was having his part in a bigger plan, and loved his friends to death, his private life was going nuts. Not that he had any but he already lost his girlfriend and his department friends. He knew he could always count on his gang friends for anything, especially making his life a mess of a survival game.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Minho | Lee Know & Everyone, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Everyone
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	All in (for the sake of it)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to this mess inspired by All in mv, one of my favorite music by skz.  
> I did some research for this but I am not satisfied with it completely.  
> Anyways as always disclaimer: I do not take shipping seriously and everything I write is having in mind that they are not like this in real life. The only thing taken from them is the names and the inspiration from their personalities.  
> This is fiction and is in NO way what or how I perceive the group.  
> Read the tags closely and keep in mind to be respectful in the comments as well.  
> About the tags, I didn't include every ship in here because I don't want to overtag so I will only add the tags for the ships smut scenes. I have to add that from the first chapter alone you can already see some heavy stuff implied, such as: psychological damage and torture mentioned, manipulation, referenced self-harm, near death experience, alcoholism, arson, thoughts of cheating, depression and anxiety, serious mental illnesses and paranoia. Mostly is implied, not described and many of these refer to the past so it is not stated openly or spoken much of, at least in the first chapter. But later on this will change and some heavy discussions will be more present.  
> Please pay attention to these things when reading since the rating is not explicit only for smut. And in the future the descriptions will get more detailed of some things, like violence and even gore probably.  
> If you read all this and are ok with it, then welcome to this mess. Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minho just lost some things and gained more, but he is so done with Chan’s head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just the first chapter of an All In au, I’ve been planning it since the mv dropped. Stick with me for a while, if you want. Hope you have fun.

Three police cars, more to come, people screaming.

Sirens.

And Minho’s back from sending the _trophy_ to _the man_.

Everything is going numb, and before he can actually understand more – Chan’s red face, Changbin taking his hand and shouting him to move, Jisung arguing with Seungmin in the back of the van – they are already on the way home, and putting the pieces together.

Flames devour everything, and he cannot look away. His hands are shaking, and his head is about to explode.

If they don’t find them out now, they’ll never going to.

It feels unreal that Chan actually burnt a whole place down, risking especially to be found out by their own department.

Imagine: the chief of the police department that swore to arrest a famous gang that basically robs everything they can is also the said gang’s leader. This must sound like a big fat joke.

Except it’s not.

It’s the _real_ thing.

And it is fucking scary how Chan can be sometimes. Risking it all for something bigger.

And Minho is ok with everything. He truly is.

Till he’s not.

Not right now at least.

Because he’s left with no friends outside this mess, and now no girlfriend too. And it hurts. But he endures anyways. He does it for the team. And he’s grateful to have them more than anything.

But it still hurts.

The heist was a success, until it wasn’t. Their department was after them. And even if Changbin and Jeongin were actually there to prevent the police from getting to them, someone got hurt. And they forgot some important stuff in there.

So of course, Chan thought, why not commit arson and burn a whole skyscraper down, to cover their traces.

Not like they could be found anyway since they retrieve all the stuff in there, as police officers, but _“better safe than sorry”_.

Which – that sentence he usually used to justify his shit – was ridiculous and didn’t have a sense half the times he used it.

What a time to be alive…

A _shitty_ one.

He doesn’t even blame them for the shit happened during the heist.

They stole what that _maniacal bitch_ wanted them to, without letting him know more, and delivered it to him. It was more than enough for a day.

Having a double life was stressful enough, he didn’t want to think about him.

They’ve been taking in by him so much time ago, got trained to steal and lie and be police officers as well. To play his stupid games, to play the stupid roles he gave them. While also trying to have a normal life.

Truth is, they learned to lie so well that he now trusts them.

Enough to give them money. Enough to leave them live together, enough to let them live without many bugs everywhere (still up to debate because Minho’s paranoia runs deep), he also trained them enough for them to pick some technics from him only. Traits that, Minho thinks, fucked with their heads, some being more affected than others. And he is not one of the cursed ones.

Mister – they don’t know his real name – tortured them psychologically enough to think he has complete control over every single decision. He trusts them to not try and steal from him.

They can’t bite the hand that fed them, now can they?

They are like free men, without actually being free.

Free enough to have a normal life, to know love, to have jobs. Not free enough to act how they want. That man controlled every single decision of theirs for the first two years, he trusts them enough now to let them play around.

Minho isn’t scared he knows their plan, their real intentions.

He’s not scared of being chased down, he’s not scared to die. At the end of the day, they are not really trying to escape, why would they?

They are _like_ free men. In a free country. Free enough to think, not enough to act.

He is like a father to them, why would they hate being like free men?

It’s exhausting.

Minho is so done with these thoughts.

They promised one another they will not let him make them regret anything.

It’s been more than several years now, they are not the stupid college boys they were, they are adults now, and clever ones.

 _He_ created a weapon for his own death.

And one day, he’s got to deal with it.

Not today at least.

Minho’s head hurts.

It’s been a long day, he wants to go to bed, but he first needs to have the confirmation of the police about the burnt-out palace.

His clothes are so suffocating, even if he changed when he got home.

And he’s anxious again about that man watching every move, he feels like he can’t even think in that house, he knows Seungmin took care of the cameras and double checks usually, but still, he feels paranoid. It’s too much, and the one who’s keeping him company is not even helping.

Truth is, Chan may have done a good thing burning a place down to ashes _only_ because Hyunjin almost fell into a trap settled by their department (or something like that, Minho has to asks Chan sooner or later), without Chan being informed, but Minho could have never predicted Chan getting hurt worse.

Minho is pissed, and Jisung makes him angrier.

“Stop that shit!” Minho growls, turning to him.

Jisung grins through the thick cloud of smoke.

“Why? It bothers you? I’m not a kid.” He answers blowing more smoke on his face.

“Of fucking course you’re not a kid but you look so stupid.”

“You’re a bitch.”

Typical Jisung, insulting to get through him, to get his attention like the child he still is, the child that knows him better than anyone. Although he’s been at it since he came back living there, and Minho is so done with that petty attitude towards him.

“Chan inspired you or something?”

The cold air of the night doesn’t make anything clearer in his mind.

Jisung walks next to him, his chin in his hand and looks outside.

“Maybe. I just like to see the smoke.” He shrugs, taking in and blowing more again.

“Burn something like him then.” He waves the smoke away.

“Why so bothered about it, huh?” Jisung cocks up an eyebrow, then it clicks, “ _oh_ , I get it, your ex was smoking this shit, right?”

That word rubs him wrong.

He should be used to it by now, but he’s not.

He is so new to having an _ex_.

“And the same flavor too…” Minho admits exhausted.

“Sorry _bub_ but I don’t do this to tease you or something so it’s not my business.”

“Jisung, can you go bother someone else?” Minho is so close to snapping, he feels his blood boiling already and although letting all the stress out to him as always – since basically these days the tension was so thick between them – he is still not in the mood to have his feelings on the table with him just now.

What he’s had in the past months, going from bad to worse, made him completely insufferable. Jisung made it hell on earth, and they never fought so much, he needs a break. Minho doesn’t have the mental strength to play his little game again today.

“No, you’re funnier than Channie at the moment,” he takes in and blows one last time, “Binnie is all over Seungmin and I wanna give them space.”

“And the others?”

“They are ok but I wanna bother you.”

“Why tho?” Minho almost whines, he hates everything today more than ever.

“Cuz I love you.” Jisung winks.

Minho’s breath catches in his throat, but he doesn’t let it show. And Jisung will get him anyways, he always does, and never speaks.

_This bitch!_

“Whatever.”

“Come to my room tonight, let’s take a bath together, watch something, chill,” he says suddenly and Minho looks at him confused. Jisung chuckles, “ok, ok I wanna fuck, maybe we can put shit together this way.”

Of course, _like magic_ or something.

Jisung wants sex. He always does.

He keeps riling him up, and not in a good way. He is so infuriating, he’s there to make him descend in hell. Sometimes he thinks Jisung is still the college boy he used to fuck around with.

“Go to Lix or Jin for this, not me.” Minho waves him away.

“Fuckin hell Min, you may need a good fuck tho.”

“Not now,” he passes his hand through his hair, sighing, “I’m just pissed ok? And things can get shitty in my head and I don’t wanna fuck when I’m like that.” Minho’s voice gets softer and Jisung’s hand is on his back.

“You’re pissed at what happened?”

Finally, _fuckin_ finally, Jisung’s usual voice is back, the one that makes Minho almost sob internally, the one that actually has a human tone, not the playful prick that is so similar to the one Chan used to have.

“I’m pissed I couldn’t help Chan and stop him. I’m pissed I wasn’t there, and I’m pissed I didn’t pay more attention to him when his mind was fucked with thoughts.” He draws out frustrated.

“But he’s fine, well a bit scratched and nervous,” he puts the vape pen back in his pocket, “but he was just making sure to not let a single trace of what we did there.”

“And burning down an entire place was the best choice?” Minho looks at him.

“Maybe,” Jisung’s other hand is on his, fingers pressing on his knuckles and massaging them a little, “Min, you’re not in his head just because you read him quickly, I’m telling you cuz I was like you, but Chan just wants to do as he pleases, let him.”

He knows it, he does, but still, Chan is a stranger when he goes nuts.

“I just love him so much I don’t want him to get hurt.” Minho whispers, squeezing his hand.

“Sometimes it happens.”

“Yea, I know.”

“Let’s get in, ok?”

Minho nods and follows him inside. They walk back in the living room, closing the balcony door and sitting on the couch. Minho leans his head on Jisung’s shoulder, the other getting him closer by the waist and kissing his hand.

“You know I always thought we’ll not go back to be horny college students again.” Jisung laughs.

“You wanna fuck now or what?” Minho snorts.

“No Min, just cuddles are ok for now,” he says and kisses his palm, “I’m happy I can get to fuck you tho, eventually, if you want to.”

_Of course, he wants that._

“Whatever.”

“We weren’t close anymore when you were with her, but you looked happy.”

So Jisung wants to open pandora’s box. It’s been not enough _fucking_ days since, but it still kind of hurts. Jisung is really unsensitive sometimes, but Minho is used to it.

“I kinda was, but I’m not sure anymore.” He decides to speak honestly anyway, it’s Jisung after all.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really, but you do I guess.” He looks up now, locking eyes with the other.

“Not really,” he echoes, “I just wanted to tell you this,” Jisung kisses his nose, “I’m happy to have you back.”

“Attention whore.” Minho mutters, though he feels more at ease.

“But of course, baby, yours especially,” Jisung kisses his lips now, more like a little peck, “and I hate to see you hurting.”

Although they kissed the past week, it lights a fire in Minho’s stomach, the way he always misses his lips. At least those lips aren’t on his with spite, with some sort of anger and frustration they both shared, never culminating in anything else, nor sex. And Minho’s somehow sad they could not find time to get back together properly.

“I’m ok tho,” Minho starts and sits better, face at his level now, “I think it was for the best, she dumped me right before the heist so it was ok for the plan as well, but I hated the stupid excuse,” only the thought of what she told him some days ago makes him shiver, “I am, _yes_ , all over my friends and I love them to death, and I’ll do anything for them, I can’t change that, I’m ok without her, don’t worry.”

He throws in the last lie – but he is not completely ok, it messes with his head how quickly she cut him off her life – to see if he can fool him, to see if Jisung really cares. He feels dumb for always looking for his eyes this way, for that spark they had long ago, when they were reckless and younger and they didn’t know better, those eyes that he cares for so deeply.

“You loved her?”

_Oh._

Now, that’s a question Minho didn’t know how to answer.

“I don’t know…” he admits.

“You never kissed me, the time you were with her, in a relationship I mean.” Jisung taps on his hands, asking for him to sit in his lap and Minho complies.

“It means I loved her?” Minho’s face is inches from him, he can feel the _disgusting_ flavor of what he smoked earlier fan on his face. It’s nauseous in a way that weights on his soul.

“It means you respected your relationship with her more than wanting to be your usual self with us.” Jisung says on his lips.

“Was it that bad?” Minho’s lips brush against Jisung’s with every word.

But they play like this sometimes, and maybe resuming an old game is not that bad. Truth is, Minho can’t resist him, it’s been so long since they’ve been close, it’s been somehow an entire year since they held each other for real.

And only bad blood running between them made him bitter for no real reason.

“Not as bad as it sounds,” Jisung takes his hand, “you never told her anything about us, except you hanged with us a lot outside of work or whatever, and you were ok with us but not quite.”

“You felt lonely?”

He’s not supposed to ask that, he knows the answer, they argued about it a week ago and he knows it, but they are speaking now, not fighting and not letting that interfere with their jobs.

“A little to be honest, it’s not that I want you all by myself, I adore you as much as the others do, but…” he stops, looking for the best way to put that, “…I feel we are a little bit closer because we, well, had a thing in the past.”

“You mean the almost death me, thing? or the messing arounds us, when we were alone in college, thing?” Minho laughs softly, incredulous he has to say that out again.

It’s today somehow a day for memories? Because Minho is in no way ready for that.

“Both,” Jisung leans in to claim his lips now, almost hungry to kiss him, “I love you with an intensity sometimes my head hurts.”

“I can give you a painkiller.”

“Take pity on my poor head at least, c’mon now.”

“For what?” if Jisung wants to play like that, love confessions or whatever, he has to do it better, he’s not in the mood for love. He’s not in the mood for much, maybe fist fight Chan, hold Jeongin in his arms to praise him for the hard work.

He’s in the mood for checking every single camera of that place to make sure it doesn’t work as it should, he also wants to fight Seungmin for taking that laptop with him and forget in there, he wants to kiss Hyunjin’s scratches, and make Chan’s worse, since he showed his worst trade today, after promising to never repeat himself. He doesn’t want to blame him much, but the rough week he’s had will not dissolve into a better one anytime soon.

“You won’t stop loving so much, you always do that, feel and give too much and suffocate,” Minho doesn’t mean to be this harsh, so he softens, to keep Jisung from freaking out, “we kind of dated, right?” he changes the topic.

“Yeah kinda, but mostly fucked and skipped classes.”

“I don’t know if I miss it…”

“I missed it when you were with her.” Jisung says, too sincere for Minho’s liking.

“Lonely much?” he resorts to teasing, keeping it still light. Jisung’s been a jerk all week, but Minho loves him and he truly doesn’t want to make him suffer much, nor the others, scold a little, yes, but hurt them? He won’t, even if his head is messed up.

“Not even a kiss?” Jisung laments sitting up better, moving Minho as well, “ok I get it, no fucking cuz it’s cheating, I know, but not even a kiss on the cheek, on the forehead? Not even a goodnight kiss? Not even cuddles?” his hands are squeezing Minho’s thigh, “I was not even the only one.” Jisung looks away, letting him go and his arms falling on the cushions.

“Chan?” Minho takes a guess.

“And Felix.”

_Ah._

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he looks back at him, eyes indecipherable, “you’re just too much under our skin,” his hands are a little shaking, and grabbing at the material underneath, “told you, _we_ love you so much it physically hurts.”

“Can’t help with that.” Minho murmurs, not really that sorry.

He is disgusting, he knows it, but he likes the idea of the others missing him, he felt like shit for so long.

And lonely, despite having a lovely woman giving him love and shelter.

“Do you miss it tho?” finally his hands fly to his waist, and Minho can’t say he is surprised, “being with her? Going on dates?” Jisung wants to distract him with words, it gives him the courage to actually do something, make a move on him.

Minho feels a little guilty for keeping him away for so long, he is also playing hard to get and probably gives mixed signals by now.

“Not as much as I thought…”

“It’s cuz you now have us?”

“It’s cuz I missed you all as well.” Minho pecks his nose, the same way he always did when he found them acting cute. He can finally do it again.

Jisung gives him a concerned look, Minho knows he’s about to spill his guts.

“I’m scared you know?”

_That’s it._

“Why?”

“You know why.”

Yes, he knows, of course he does. As much as he hides it, Minho knows he’s an easy target for _him_.

“I’m here and I’m not goin anywhere.” Minho passes his hand in his hair, softly moving the strands from his face.

“I know…” Jisung grips at his sides with more insistence, almost tugging him closer, “…but you're still hurting Min, being in a relationship– _you_ can’t forget an entire year this way.”

“You suffered so much for _that_ entire year tho.” Minho’s mouth curves in a soft grin.

“You’re not at fault.”

“I know,” Minho sits better, straddling Jisung with his thighs, “but I feel bad anyways,” his lips go to his ear, “I was not 100% ok when I was alone with someone else that wasn’t one of you,” and hands around his neck, encircling it loosely, “so I backed up a little, I was afraid to be my usual self with all of you, with you Ji especially, since our feelings were really on display after I got with her, but I didn’t want to make her suffer,” his forehead finds the shoulder and he finally feels like he can himself go, “we both had a thing, we were so in love and we still kind of are,” it feels like coming home, Jisung’s hands going up his back and holding him closer, “I knew I wasn’t gonna last, but I was happy with her, she was so sweet and I know she wanted more attention but in my heart I only had place for you, all of you, I wanted to go back to give you love, cuz you always gave it to me.” He can hear Jisung breathe slowly, and his body tensing and relaxing in a strange, alternating way.

“I miss that sensation of going out with her, but I knew it wasn’t gonna last, cuz I love you, Ji, and I love Chan so bad, and Binnie and Hyunjin and the others so, so much it… it hurts.” Minho feels the air dissipate from his lungs, he’d love to die after this, he feels his eyes hurting and his head pulsing, but it’s done, at least a part of him is out in the light, he is half naked in Jisung’s arms.

“Wow…” Jisung’s voice sounds so strained, Minho snaps up, hands on both his shoulders to keep him in place, he’s afraid the other may escape him somehow.

“That’s all you’re gonna say?”

“I am only surprised hearing you speak so clear, that’s all,” Jisung shakes his head, chuckling softly, “and I’m also about to cry,” he snorts.

“Don’t, _baby_.”

He petname is past his lips before he can stop himself, and he means it. Maybe things are really getting back to normal.

“I can’t help it,” Jisung lets out a little sob, Minho doesn’t really know if it’s completely honest or not, Jisung is so dramatic sometimes, but he decides he doesn’t care, he wants to care about him, flaws and all his rotten brain.

“I wanna stay here in your arms a little more tho,” the younger speaks again, “I missed this, missed your hands on me, your mouth on mine,” he’s whispering on his lips now and Minho’s hands are back around his neck, “I missed Chan hugging and kissing you in front of the others, I missed seeing you go on dates with Seungmin and Felix, I missed Hyunjin crying cuz you tickled him too much and he almost pissed himself,” he kisses him fondly, and Minho feels at home, “I missed just you, and your presence in my life.”

Minho is shaking, melting in Jisung’s arms.

Maybe they are really going back to normal, to their loving selves, despite all the things getting worse. So Minho feels the need to tell him at least that, to let him know he is broken but he is fine, they are fine, they are safe.

They will eventually be ok.

“I love you Ji.” The words taste right on his tongue, they are perfect, he feels them.

Jisung hugs him closer, kissing his temple.

“I love you too, Minho, a lot.”

Minho’s face is so red, he’s glad he’s in Jisung’s arms so he doesn’t see him and tease, but honestly, he wouldn’t be so embarrassed, it’s Jisung after all.

“You need to go check on Channie, probably Jeongin is done with him.” Jisung says at his ear and it sends a shiver down his spine, a sensation he adores for some strange reason.

Minho nods, “what are you going to do?”

“Probably get on the balcony, smoke my stress away,” Minho cocks an eyebrow, “ok, yea, I can’t drink because Changbin doesn’t like me drunk so I am doing it less.”

 _Ahh_.

Of course, drunk Jisung is not something Binnie enjoys, and he doesn’t like him as well.

“Making progresses, I see.”

“I am, Changbin takes my shit away like I am hurting myself or something.”

“Ji, you are.” Minho looks him in the eyes and Jisung doesn’t escape his gaze.

“Yea, probably, I am a bit fucked in the brain by now, sometimes it’s too much, but I am safe, I will not do shit under your watching eyes, or behind your back, you’d now, trust me on that.” Jisung takes his hands and kisses it, somehow making a promise with his eyes and Minho feels convinced by it, he knows he is safe, they all are safe.

Even if they basically live in the devil’s mouth. They will bet chewed and spit out like nothing. Powerless.

“I trust you, seriously, I know you are ok, I am too, and I need to make sure Chan is as well.” Minho reaches for his face to kiss his cheeks and lips.

“Ok then, but it’s not your fault he did that, I think he got fed up with everyone’s bullshit and how the plan almost didn’t work.” Jisung leaves him stand up, looking at him from the couch and smiling faintly.

“I know, but still, I want to pay more attention to him.”

“Don’t scold him too much,” Jisung laughs softly, taking a cigarette from his jacket pocket.

Long and thin.

So it’s light, and it has less to none taste. Jisung will not smoke that, he’ll use it only to give Minho the impression he is staying there, but he won’t.

He did that in the past too, it doesn’t feel sincere, sometimes he hides from him.

It’s been an entire year since he saw Jisung naked, not fully or half clothed, and it hits him hard, how many details did he miss? Is Jisung’s body scarred now? More than his face? More than his heart?

“Stop overthinking, _dummy_ ,” Jisung’s voice is closer because he got up from the sofa and Minho snaps back to the present, “it’s for Hyunjin, he hates the whole nicotine thing, I bought these for him cuz he feels like smoking sometimes, he’ll probably come get some air.”

Minho’s eyes can’t go wider than they are now, and his headache is back.

Again, he feels stupid for doubting him, maybe he is not sure about himself instead.

“And don’t apologize, it’s ok, I know what you think, but you are fine, give yourself time,” Jisung sits back, sighing, eyes still on him, “I will see you later, ok?”

Minho wants to cry; his head hurts so bad.

He leans in to ruffle Jisung’s hair one last time and he disappears right after the corner.

Minho knows he’s right, but he feels so alone. He’s been back in that house for almost a week, and he still feels stiff moving through the corridors. His room is still the same, the videocameras as well, with their red little light and that strange and disturbing buzz.

At least the cameras in his old apartment were simple to uninstall, but these ones? It takes a while, and some are still active, they cannot speak too loud in some corners of that place, it makes Minho’s anxiety spike.

He doesn’t hate the place, but he doesn’t consider that his home, although everyone is in there, he’s been living there for years and half a month in another place was nothing.

He remembers when she asked him to move in, to spend more time together, to wake up in the morning in a big bed for both. And he never deserved that.

He never cheated on her, he just could not, but _oh_ the temptation was there all the time. It took him two weeks in to realize he couldn’t kiss the others, he couldn’t stay too much in their room, not because they were somehow trying to get in his pants, but because Minho wanted to. And he still feels horrible for that. That little piece of normality was not made for him.

As he gets down the stairs, he feels his heart sink, his eyes meeting the active camera right up his head. He forgot about that, and how much he hates it, that little flickering light that signals it’s functioning.

And that _he_ knows he is there. He feels violated, like that little electronic thing could see through him, could read his mind.

He speeds up, finally in front of the big door or that big and nonsense garage they used only to discuss heists.

He forces the door open, the noise echoing in his mind and bringing him back in time, but for once he enters without stopping in the past.

Jeongin is indeed there, shoving some medicine to Chan and looking at him with an angry expression.

Minho despises seeing him mad, so he takes long and quick steps in their direction.

Chan notices him first, and tells something to Jeongin, to which the latter stops speaking and turns around.

Minho throws himself at him, arms open while and holding him.

“Hello, _dear_.”

If there is someone that never stopped sweetcalling him is Jeongin, he’s been spilling all kind of concerns he has running through his head to the younger and not once he got refused by him in any ways. Maybe that’s why Minho didn’t spend time alone with him much in the whole year he’s been in a monogamous relationship. If Minho would have asked Jeongin to fuck him, he would have probably accepted, not scolding him, not making him feel in the wrong either. Jeongin is like that, but he will never get to their disturbed level, he’s the mature one, with Felix as well. Young ones, and the ones that keep all that together. Sometimes he thinks it’s his fault, he acts like a child in the clothes of an adult and Jeongin is fully and perfectly adult. Another part of him though knows they have been scarred so bad, and their coping mechanisms are still there.

Well, everyone reacts differently to those kinds of traumatic events.

“I gave Channie some painkillers, please don’t poke his arms too much, they still hurt.” Jeongin speaks again, his tone a little unnerved, Minho nods to him as he plants a soft kiss on his lips.

“You act like you don’t want to slap me.” Chan speaks, hands together and looking at the needles on the table.

“ _Oh_ , I do of course, but I did my job for that.” Jeongin looks down on him, still angry, Minho supposes.

“For vengeance?” Chan looks up, not meeting Minho’s eyes just yet.

Ignoring him, to prepare for him doing his worse.

Chan knows, he always does, after he sees full red. Minho doesn’t blame him, but what he did kind of made Minho shit his pants. He never saw with his own eyes a whole place catching fire and collapse the next second like it wasn’t even there to begin with.

And people were wounded, even if the place was isolated, and he got hurt, which makes Minho even angrier.

“Don’t need to, I’m not a doctor for anyone there, I am a policeman and I was one last night.” Jeongin folds his arms, looking away from the leader and it pains Minho. Not only because he is suffering, not only because he wasn’t there to prevent it ( _damned_ the day he agreed for a double heist and Chan’s stupid plan) but because he never saw him that way, he lost so much time, he doesn’t know any of them anymore.

“I said I am sorry, but please don’t blame Seungmin for forgetting the laptop because it was on me, I know what I did.”

“You’re an idiot if you think I give a damn about what you did, you just don’t _fucking_ listen to me, Chan,” Jeongin approaches Chan with an odd flare in his eyes, “I am angry, furious even, that you decided to place a fucking fuse to make everything explode, you could have died you dumb idiot!”

Chan is left speechless, looking down at his feet once again and Jeongin turns to Minho.

“He will be fine, nothing major, but you can actually poke his cuts, some are not that deep, the ones I didn’t bandage.”

“I heard that.” Chan mumbles.

“Then have fun,” Jeongin sticks out his tongue at him, “come find me when you are done being a jerk, but for the love of god, knock!” Jeongin turns to Minho again and he kisses his lips, harder this time.

“You did amazing, I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help.”

“You had a difficult job, don’t worry.” Jeongin kisses him back and steps back, one last look in Chan’s direction before closing the noisy metal sliding door.

The redhead stays there, scanning Chan’s body for wounds.

“As always, I am your nurse I see…” Minho’s tone is harsh and Chan knows he’s about to snap at him.

“I can manage myself.”

“Nah, you can’t.” Minho scoffs, taking a seat next to him and looking at the bandages Jeongin worked around his biceps.

“I do, but not now.” Chan’s voice is just as cold, he doesn’t want to give Minho credit.

“You need to calm the fuck down, Hyunjin is fine, he knows what he’s doing.” Minho looks at some deep scratches on his forearm, now disinfected and no longer bleeding, but they probably did a lot. He wasn’t there, he was busy working on the robbery part and completely missed checking on Chan, not that he would have listened to him.

“I know,” he sighs, letting Minho move his arms as he pleases, “I just can’t let them do that.”

“It’s their job, to hunt us down, and Binnie and Jeongin were there, he didn’t get hurt thanks to them as well you know that.”

“I know,” Chan states, not really looking at him, “I love them so much,” he lets out a whine as the other presses into one of the cuts, “I love you so much,” but his kissy face gets ignored and Minho gets up.

“Stop this bullshit Chan,” the younger watches his face concerned, looking for something that tells him Chan is not completely gone mad, it’s not the time for that anyway, “he’ll not get to us that easily, you have to stop overthinking and then act crazy.” He says, serious.

He is more talking to himself, he knows he’s the paranoid in there, but Chan loses his mind lately.

“Say you love me back please.” He’s now looking at him, eyebrows furrowed.

“You are really ignoring my words, huh?” Minho chuckles, incredulous.

“Please say it back.” he whispers, insisting.

“Do you even hear yourself?” Minho is one second away from snapping, and he also can’t bear to see his face scarred in that way, “set your priorities straight for once.”

“I’m not the straight person people think I am.”

_Seriously?_

Minho knew trying to rationalize with him was useless, but now it’s getting ridiculous.

“You’re changing the topic now,” he wants to go, but Chan anticipates his moves and gets up, then he takes his hand, with such a gentle gesture that Minho can’t help but soften.

Yet again, another lover of his acts like a fool and Minho falls for it, he’s a goner he must admit, maybe even in love, and he hates how much Jisung and Chan take him by the neck and burry him under tenderness. Or maybe he’s going nuts like everyone else.

“You are my priorities,” Chan regains his voice to say, “all of you,” he adds, leaning in for a kiss, but ending in Minho’s arms instead, the other moving quicker.

“Fuckin god, you’re a big baby.” Minho draws out.

“I am,” Chan nuzzles his face in his neck, “and I love you,” he places a soft kiss there, making Minho shiver, “say it back please.”

“What’s wrong with you today?” Minho takes his face in his hands, cupping the cheeks and moving his head to see how many scratches ruined his beautiful face.

Chan separates, his hands gripping Minho’s wrists with a new-found strength, “I may have a moment of insecurity,” he lets himself fall on the sofa again, “I’m also scared of being left alone,” Minho narrows his eyes, “I’m scared of being hated by you the most.”

Minho tils his head, confused and sits down again, facing him this time.

“You’re not scared of betrayal?” he dares to ask, knowing full well that he will not be taken seriously, but he can’t help himself, he wanted to ask for a while.

“You can arrest me if you want.”

Minho flicks his forehead, enough to hurt and the other reacts whining.

_Why did he even try?_

“Today you’re such a nuisance,” he rolls his eyes, “and you also burnt a whole place down do you even real–”

“No. I’m not scared of betrayal. I trust you with my life.” Chan cuts him off, his voice comes out so different, like it’s not his anymore, like he is bearing too much.

“And I trust you with mine,” Minho says back, softer. And takes some plasters from the table.

“I love you so much Minho, I’m sorry I did that, but just because it bothers you, I don’t care about what happens in this fucking place,” Chan trails out, giving him puppy eyes, sadder.

“You, big baby,” Minho gets in his lap – Chan’s hands are immediately on his waist – and opens a tiny plaster to put below his eye, “I love you too,” he places a little kiss on the lips, “so much,” and another one on the nose.

Chan bites at his lips, passing the tongue right after and Minho squirms slightly. Chan is safe, he’s right there, he’s kissing him and most importantly, he is not going insane. Yet.

He still burned a whole place down, and he didn’t know he’ll end up seeing Chan’s face in the light of big voracious flames ever again. Chan doesn’t care, if it’s the _promise_ involved, he would kill for them and the fact that Minho understands him, he is the same, scares him to death. He can’t stop Chan if he can’t even manage himself. He knows how to kill, how to take a life in seconds, even with bare hands, and Chan did his worst today. But he doesn’t want to take another _offer_ as well, he abhors that. All the thoughts in his head confuse him.

“Alone tonight?”

Chan takes him back from his stream of thoughts, Minho’s not sure when they stopped kissing.

“Why?”

He doesn’t know when Chan’s fingers started playing with his hair either.

“I wanna know if I can have you all for me tonight…”

“Yes, you can,” Minho kisses him again, harder his time. And Chan loses himself in the kiss, Minho feels him relax under him.

“Good, cuz I want you in me.”

_Ah._

Why is everyone in that house constantly horny?

He’s had enough of sex, he knows Jisung is fucking somewhere with someone now, probably Felix and probably Hyunjin as well, he knows he still wants that, and he is ok with that, but it’s not like they don’t fuck all the damn time and–

_Oh._

He’s been in a relationship since not even a week ago.

_Oh!_

He feels like an idiot.

And it makes sense, all the sudden attention, all the frustration out with Jisung.

He’s been getting sex, quite good if he has to be honest, that woman was worth it all, but _damn_ he misses this, misses being taken care of. He is suddenly very interested in getting fucked, getting _loved_.

Now, Chan doesn’t really want to give him the satisfaction, which may be ok in any case, but he’s still up to tease him, a repay for how much he’s been worried sick about his unapologetic ass.

“Or, I can just make you do all the work.” His voice is mellifluous, one finger slowly going up and down Chan’s neck.

“I may need a punishment for doing what I did.”

_Dumbass._

This is such an idiotic addition, Minho slaps himself mentally for hearing that.

“It’s not necessary.”

“Yes, it is.” Chan insists with pleading eyes.

“Ok, then I decide that your punishment is to fuck me and I let you do all the job for me.” He hates playing this game, Chan doesn’t even like that, or at least, he didn’t last year.

“That’s so terrible Min.”

“What do you think a punishment is, baby?” Minho tries again, he really doesn’t care much but Chan is worth torturing sometimes, “it has to teach you a lesson…”

“That’s still mean.” Chan draws out like he’s suffering, and it makes Minho only laugh louder now.

“You wanna be punished but still feel like a spoiled bitch?” his fingers are under his chin, eyes burring into him, “no way, sir. I gladly be a pillow princess and be treated good because I put up with your shit 24/7.”

“You always do that tho, be a pillow princess…” Chan seems to be given up but his arms are still gripping his waist tightly.

“I deserve.” He kisses him, lingering with his lips but not deepening the kiss and it only drives Chan crazy.

“Indeed, you do.” He says on his lips, holding him closer and kissing him properly. Minho follows his lead for once.

But before getting too into it, Minho’s phone interrupts them. Minho takes it from his pocket, leaving one last peck on Chan’s lips.

He takes the smartphone and clicks on the email, scanning it, Chan looking at him and trying to interpret his eyes.

“They send in the documents, it seems we’re safe.” Minho declares, locking his phone back and looking at his leader with fond eyes.

“Good, never doing this again.” Chan places his hands on Minho’s shoulders to give them a rapid squeeze.

“That’s a lie.” Minho deadpans.

“That’s a lie.” Chan repeats, sighing.

“I have to tell the others,” the younger leans in to kiss the other’s nose, “what are you going to do now?”

“Wait for dinner, definitely going to take care of Hyunjin since he’s been a little shaken, take a long bath together.”

“Meet you for dinner, then?”

“Totally,” Chan kisses his cheek and grips his waist to signal him to leave him go, “I am still sorry for what happened, and this is the truth.”

“I can tell,” Minho stands up from Chan and offers him his hand to help him stand as well.

Chan is the first to change direction and open Hyunjin’s door on the corridor, and Minho peeks inside just enough to make sure if he is fine.

Hyunjin is like that sometimes, needs alone time, to get better and then maybe open up. Minho is a little envy of him, he’s always been good at managing himself, calm down and be rational. Of course he’s always part of this group, so he isn’t a patient person and everything gets on his nerves easily as well.

As he walks to the kitchen, he hears people speaking and laughing. It honestly breaks his heart, he’s finally reunited with them as he should. It’s been a hectic week, he had little to no time to spend with them outside the heist planning rooms, and after that usually they had to play their policeman games.

He opens the door to find Jisung next to Seungmin and Jeongin and Felix arguing about the carrots in the soup.

“Can I participate?”

Felix turns to Minho and almost throws himself at him. Minho opens his arms and holds him close, kissing his cheeks for everyone’s eyes to see.

Felix is one of the first to hug him when he got back, he was the first one to kiss him. And Minho is grateful, they used to go out on dates a lot before he got with his girlfriend and now he’s alone again, Felix gives him love in that beautiful way he always does. He has again Jisung’s words in his mind: Felix suffered because Minho was in a relationship, probably tried to get over it with all his might. And Minho’s heart hurts.

“Something happened?” Felix whispers on his lips and Minho first kisses him, then takes his hand.

“They didn’t find anything, we are safe.” Minho says, looking more at him than the others even if he speaks to everyone.

“Good!”

“Lixie, sweetie, I put the carrots in the end.”

Felix whines and runs to Jeongin, Minho let’s go of his hand and looks at Seungmin softly laughing at that.

Seungmin is working on a new system to elude the scanning in the police office, checking in from time to time with Jisung it seems.

Minho looks at them and meets Seungmin’s eyes. Him as well, Seungmin was always so open with him and now they are slowly trying to get back to what they were.

Minho walks to them, one hand on Seungmin’s shoulder while he moves closer to Jisung’s ear.

“I am sleeping with Chan tonight,” he murmurs, Jisung feeling every syllable on his skin.

“Have fun then, baby.” Jisung kisses his cheek.

Seungmin looks up at both, smiling when seeing Minho’s blushy cheeks.

“Done, I guess we can try and hack in tomorrow, if you want.” Seungmin comments, looking at Jisung.

The other nods and moves to sit in his lap while closing the laptop.

Minho looks at them kissing, his hand still on Seungmin shoulder and he realizes he truly missed that.

Being casual with each other, loving, caring, giving each other a reason to not go completely mad, protecting each other. Things are going back to normal, after going awfully terrible.

It may be due to the fact that now he can actually feel like himself more, feel more in control. Yes, he is the type of person to always trying to control everything, and when things don’t go according to his intuition, he loses himself in the process and freezes. They keep him grounded, remind him he’s not the control freak _he_ wants him to be, and maybe that’s the love he always needed.

Minho leaves a soft peck on Seungmin’s head, before going to sit far from them and near the door. It’s a habit he picked up from Chan, guarding his _family_.

Changbin comes in yawning, stretching his arms and Minho tilts his head from his position, chin in his hand.

“Hello, _bunny_ ,” Changbin winks at him after waving at the others in the room, “you fine?” he asks, taking his hand and kissing it.

Minho nods, leaning in for a kiss and strangely, Changbin doesn’t taste of tobacco, nor wine. He doesn’t taste like anything actually and Minho retracts to eye him, surprised.

“If you’re here to tell us about the news, we saw it, and we’re accused of that, of _fucking_ course!” Jeongin rambles out of blue, gaining everyone’s eyes on him while he stirs the vegetables on the pan.

“I know you know, but damn, they are still trying to extinguish the flames,” Changbin says while playing with Minho’s fingers.

The image of Chan’s red face from the fire light, covered in blood, is back in Minho’s head. He hates it, hates to think about that again. Changbin seems to notice his change of spirit and intertwines their fingers together.

“Leave him be, he needs to offload, he’s been having nightmares.” Jisung comments, adjusting his position in Seungmin’s lap and guiding his hands to his hips, to be hugged closer.

That’s new, Minho didn’t know about the nightmares. And he will ask Chan about it tonight.

It’s going to be the first time to sleep with one of them after more than a year, and he won’t lie to himself, he’s a little scared.

Maybe Chan invited him to his room because he needs to vent, to escape his thoughts, and Minho can’t help feeling a little anxious about it. He might explode, his feelings are all over the place. He feels like his home is been restructured and he has to learn about its details all over again.

And speaking of details, didn’t Jisung just say to him he wants to give Seungmin and Changbin space? Isn’t it that he actually wants his place in between them?

But again, why does he overthink every single thing like his life depends of it?

“Bro, you went places, are you with us?” Changbin squeezes his hand and Minho yelps.

“Don’t mind him, he is analyzing everything he’s missed.” Jisung speaks in a playful tone.

“Ji, shut up,” Felix snaps, looking at him like he wants to fight him there, ladle in hand, “you’re acting like you didn’t whine all week cuz you weren’t sure if to touch him or whatever.”

“He’s right, stop giving him shit, you’ve been teasing all week.” Seungmin tightens his grip on his stomach, making Jisung let out a chocked sound.

Minho scans their faces, shocked.

He’s been an argument of discussion, he guesses, it’s only fair. It’s gonna take a while. For all of them. But he’s still surprised by the revelations.

“I didn’t m–mean to–” Jisung gapes, unsure of what to say, then his eyes find Minho’s and _damn_ Jisung looks like a tiny lost puppy.

“You seem to want him so much and _I_ had to listen to you going on and on about how much you feel insecure, cut it out for once.” Felix concludes, about to get back to his dishes.

That comes off to Minho’s ears like a confirmation, they did speak about him for some time then. And he knows Jisung was, _well_ , still is, awkward with him, that’s not new and they finally kind of spoke about that today.

“Ok, enough,” Minho starts, facing Felix first, “he’s right, I feel so disconnected with all of you, and unworthy of coming in any of your arms, because I distanced myself, not only because there was her in my life,” Changbin’s grip on his hand tightens, “and now that I’m back, I feel like a stranger, I know you like the palm of my hand, but I missed some details for the past year, I am a bit stiff, but I will be fine,” he then turns to Jisung, who sniffles when their eyes lock again, “ _Jisungie_ , I will overreact for a while, I can’t control it at the moment.” He doesn’t need to tell him much, not to address what the others just said about him, not his insecurities, not their bond, and especially he doesn’t have to tell him he’s sorry, because he is not.

Seungmin widens his arms to let Jisung go and he stands up, “they are right though, I am playing with your mind and I’m sorry.” His voice is a little strained as he walks in his direction.

“Petty attention seeker,” Jeongin opens his mouth, turning off the burner, “but we love your dumb ass.” He leans on the oven, quite amused at how easy Jisung crumbles when it’s about Minho.

Jisung chuckles at that, Minho can see his eyes are glassy and leaves Changbin’s hand to turn in his chair and pat his thighs to invite him to sit there. Jisung accepts it and the second their bodies touch, his lips are on Minho’s, hands on his cheeks. He can’t help it, they don’t need words, and that fucked their relationship for years, but they also learned to accept each other, and Minho is ok with anything, because it’s his Jisung after all. They are like magnets, and they almost never choose to repel each other.

That long kiss turns into small pecks, and they stop when they hear the others making a chorus of fake disgusted noises.

Things will go back to normal, in one way or another, he knows it and Minho is now sure it won’t take much to memorize details again.

He doesn’t have to tell them that, their hands in his are more than enough.

And they don’t need to reassure him, they know it. Minho is like an open book, he only repeats himself for his own sake at this point.

Jisung grins, making grabby hands at Changbin who only kisses them.

“You’re so noisy,” Changbin snorts, suddenly leaving Jisung’s hands falling on Minho’s back and looking at his watch.

Jisung sits upwards, Minho snaps his neck at Changbin and Felix turns off the flames and gets closer taking Jeongin’s hand.

“Like?” Seungmin prompts, eyes fixed on him.

Changbin sighs, looking at Chan and Hyunjin hand in hand just stepping in, “like a broken strings lullaby.”

Chan closes the door behind Hyunjin, not saying much.

“I don’t know why I expected something different.” Minho trails out, following Chan taking a chair and sitting next to him with his eyes.

“Adrenaline rush, baby.” Jisung says pecking his lips one last time before slowly get off him and finding a sit next to Changbin.

“Too solemn for my taste.” Hyunjin murmurs.

After a while everyone is seated down and they eat, or mostly laugh at Chan getting his white shirt dirty and Felix feeding Hyunjin in the wrong way.

Minho can’t say he’s happy, but he is content, with everything.

Even having to do the dishes with Chan alone since they are slow eaters.

Jeongin is the first to leave the table and Chan grips his wrist when he passes near him.

“Jeonginnie, can I bring you flowers tomorrow?”

Minho stops poking Changbin’s chest and silence falls over the whole room right at once.

“Roses or lilies, and make sure no one touches them at the department.” The younger doesn’t even flinch and Chan lets go of his hand.

“I love you.”

“Love you, too, hothead,” Jeongin ruffles his hair and turns to the others as well, “how do we sleep tonight?”

“Minho’s with me, if you still want it…” Chan mumbles, gnawing at his bottom lip nervous.

“Of course I do.” Minho offers him his hand and Chan takes it in his like it’s some delicate thing.

“I sleep with these two horny bitches.” Seungmin points in Changbin and Jisung’s direction, looking down where he knows their hands are playing with the hems of each other’s sweats.

“Then I will go with Lixie and Jeongin!” Hyunjin’s enthusiast voice echoes in the kitchen and he covers his mouth with his hand right after.

Minho scoffs, staring at Felix’s soft blush on his cheeks.

After the most important decision of the night – it’s rare they sleep alone, but Minho’s been alone all week since he’s been back and he can’t wait to be held dearly by one of them – Chan stays with him there till the kitchen is at least decent.

“I thought you needed more alone time, I guess I ignored you feeling lonely.”

“No, you didn’t, I feel so much better now,” Minho takes his hand as they go down the corridors again and he now notices some paintings have been put down from the wall, “I spoke with Ji when we came back.” He whispers as they pass one of the active cameras.

Chan hums, stopping in front of his room and opening the door.

Chan’s room is safe. Every private room is safe. They check for bugs and spy cameras every other week, but he still feels anxiety creep at his spine, blocking him from relaxing completely.

Chan knows, he does everything to calm him down, even if sometimes it’s in vain.

“Take this off.” Minho deadpans, one hand pulling at his shirt.

“You want me naked already?”

Minho pinches his cheek at that.

“What did you two speak about?” Chan asks while taking it down.

Minho jumps on his bed, face in the pillows and Chan chuckles, moving the sheets aside to crawl next to him.

“Not much,” he says, the words coming out muffled, “we’ll be fine, I love him, he loves me, he made me speak about her.”

“He poured out his loneliness on you or something?”

“No, he didn’t,” Minho sits up and takes his pants off, Chan helps him off his shirt as well and he encircles his stomach with both arms to bring him to his chest, both falling down.

“You do know it’s not your fault, right?” Chan starts, foreheads touching, “if we felt lonely, if he felt like shit, it’s not your fault, you have a right to fall in love with someone else, you can’t dictate your heart, and everyone in here has that right, we may be too attached to each other, but it’s not your fault, you tried your best.” Chan kisses his lips softly.

Minho feels like crying, he knows the tears are about to fall, and he wants to open up so bad, he wants to tell at least him what he bears within.

“I was tempted to cheat on her, Chan.”

That’s it, he said it out loud and now he cannot go back.

Chan blinks once, twice, his face not changing and Minho is afraid he’s about to get a reaction he won’t like from his lover.

“And that’s why you should not blame yourself if any of us felt lonely, we don’t hate you,” Chan speaks again, his voice gentler, “of course you could not resist, we love each other like crazy, I know we all do, so you felt the need to keep your distance, Minho you are valid and it’s ok.”

Minho looks at him with wide eyes.

That’s it.

That’s exactly what is it.

And he is valid.

Minho’s eyes give in and tears stream down his face, Chan hugs him close and kisses them away little by little.

“I love you, Min and you do too, you never stopped, only because we felt how we did, it doesn’t make you guilty for wanting something different,” he speaks on his lips, thumbs wiping his tears away delicately, “and if any of us reacted, it’s only that, a frustrated reaction, nothing more, don’t even think about it being a sign of us not loving you.”

Somehow, those words that bring so much comfort make him cry harder.

“Let it go, we’ll be fine,” he shushes him, hands on his back and getting him impossibly close, “and anyways, we distanced from you as well, so if you think you are at fault, we are as much as you, we avoided you and maybe sometimes, a hug or a soft caress would have been appreciated, but we reacted bad because we are dumb.”

“It’s ok, we’ll be fine eventually,” Minho says through the sniffles, soft spoken as he always is, “I love you, Channie.”

“I love you, too, so much,” Chan’s lips find his neck, peppering it with kisses, drawing soft little sighs of pleasure from him, “so, so much.”

Chan rolls them over, Minho getting with his back on the bed as Chan kisses him hard, hands in his hair and then slipping down and sucking on the skin under his ear.

Minho lets out a soft moan at that, hands flying to Chan’s curls, while Chan’s one is slowly caressing his skin and going down to the hem of his boxers.

Minho buckles in his hands, letting him take his time in exploring his body after so long and it feels so perfect, how Chan always lights a fire inside him, and his fingers play and grip his skin just enough to leave marks and make him squirm.

Chan laughs on his skin, sucking another mark on his collarbones as he laps at them, hand going down his inner thigh and pressing on the skin.

Minho is getting impatient, and he even considered fucking Chan as he wanted today but he’s taking so long to kiss and pamper him and Minho is feeling mush under his attentive touch.

“Are you–”

“Don’t worry, I will fuck you if that’s what you want.” Chan cuts him off, a big smile on his lips as he looks up at him.

Minho blinks, taken aback.

“I thought you wanted to be fucked today…”

“I changed my mind, I want to see you fall apart.”

“I fall apart no matter what, tho.” Minho eyes him confused.

Why did he change his mind? It’s usually Chan the one to beg to be fucked and to cry hard under him.

“I want to be inside you so bad, Min,” Chan’s smile doesn’t fade, “can I?”

 _Oh_.

Chan wants him that way, Chan wants to take care of him.

 _Chan_.

“ _Yes_ , please.”

Chan takes that as an invitation to touch him more, hand going past his boxers and making Minho let out a chocked moan at that.

Chan laughs softly, getting on his knees to look at Minho better.

Then he starts tugging at his underwear and Minho lifts his hips to let Chan get them off. He whines when the other licks his lips. Minho covers his eyes with his arm, it’s too much.

“You’re not shy, something’s up?”

Minho shakes his head.

“Are you uncomfortable?”

“God, no!” Minho looks at him, getting on one elbow.

“Then why?”

“Chan, it’s been more than a year…” he lets out exhausted, he can’t believe he has to spell it out for him.

Maybe actually, that’s what he wanted from the start.

“ _Ah_ , true,” Chan chuckles, “want me to fuck you like this?”

By _this_ Chan means having his eyes buried in Minho’s body as he thrusts in him and makes him cry, and Minho is really considering it.

“Ok, but be rough.” Minho says, sitting back and maintaining eye contact.

The older cups his cheek, slowly passing the thumb over his eyelid and Minho leans in the touch.

“It probably won’t be as rough as you want to, tho.”

“Soft love making be it, then?”

“I don’t know, we go with the flow?” Chan takes his underwear down as well, reaching for the dresser to get the lube and a condom.

“Agreed, softie,” Minho looks at him and he’s about to implode, “want me to suck you off first?”

Chan’s ears are redder than before, and Minho grins.

“Yes, please Minho.”

Minho sits up, crawling between his legs, hands on his inner thighs.

“Missed me like this?” Minho asks while his hands wraps loosely around his shaft.

Chan hisses as an answer, eyes on the redhead as he blows on the tip to tease him before taking him in his mouth.

Minho swirls his tongue around the head, sucking him in deeper, letting out wet noises that are driving Chan crazy. His hands fly to Minho’s hair, while Minho flicks his tongue again and goes up and down his length to lap at the side. Then he starts bobbing his head a little, popping off right after and smiling at the older.

Chan’s first instinct is to pull him up by his hair and clash their mouths together in a mess of a kiss and Minho whines in his mouth while his hand is still moving on Chan’s length.

“Changed my mind, I want you now– _fuck!_ ”

Chan’s moans are perfect, they make Minho proud of still having a way with him, still knows where to touch and draw out the best sounds from him.

“Ok baby, want to finger me or watch?”

Chan kisses him again, unsure of what he’d love best. Minho is too much in any case, and his hand is moving painfully slow.

“I want to watch you,” Chan says on his lips, “can I?”

“To see how good my fingers move inside?” Minho intertwines their fingers, sitting better on his lap and grinding down, their members touching, “how deep I can go…” he moves even so slightly, causing Chan to choke on his spit, “…to take you well right after?”

Chan only nods, he has no voice to say anything anyway.

“Good boy,” Minho breathes out, getting on his back again, “pass me the lube, please.”

Chan gives it to him, taking the condom as well.

“Put your hands on me if you want, baby.”

Chan can’t take this much, not with Minho’s eyes eating him alive, and he’s not the one spread out on his bed, fingers coated with lube and going deep inside with extraordinary simplicity.

He reaches for his thighs, passing the back on his hand on the inner thigh, Minho letting out already soft breathy noises, and going up to his chest, Minho bucking in his hands, fingers pressing inside and moving in and out.

Chan is mesmerized, Minho’s mouth open and tongue out as his fingers go deep, looking for his sweet spot, seeing his breath hitch and toes curling when the tip of his fingers gets near. Minho is a whole _damn_ show.

“Channie love, you’re with me?” Minho chuckles, voice mellifluous.

Chan’s hand goes down again, brushing against his hips, fingers tracing his v line. He doesn’t know how to answer so he nods absently.

“I think I’m ready, love.”

Chan’s cock twitches at the thought of being buried deep in Minho after all that time. While the redhead takes off his fingers and sits on his elbows, Chan takes the condom.

“Want a hand?” Minho asks amused at Chan’s shaky hands.

“I think I can manage…” and he does indeed, but Minho’s eyes on him make him feel a mix of shyness and embarrassment he can’t really describe.

Chan positions at his rim, already feeling goosebumps all over his body when Minho’s hand finds his and interlaces their fingers together.

Chan pushes into him and Minho lets out a long moan, feeling too full already.

“ _God_ , it’s been a while.” Minho says as Chan bottoms out, moving the pillow better under Minho’s ass.

“You haven’t bottomed in a whole year?” Chan asks curious, not moving just yet.

“I did, _oh_ , believe me, she was rougher than you– _ah!_ ” Chan’s little change of position makes Minho almost squirm.

He’s been too sensitive lately, it feels so good to be touched again, to be taken care of like that.

Chan slowly moves out just a little, testing the waters, see if Minho is truly ready.

“Don’t need to be so careful love, please, I need _you_.” Minho trails out, closing his eyes and meeting Chan’s shy thrusts.

“I love you, Min.” Chan says before fully thrusting into him now, slow and deep.

“Me too– _fuck!_ ”

Minho’s voice is beautiful, whining and whimpering as Chan slams into him, still taking his time to break him apart. Minho fists the pillow under his head while squeezing Chan’s hand.

It’s been so much since he fell apart to Chan’s dick, to Chan’s entire essence, his way to give his everything during whatever intimate they share. Chan’s lips are now back against his, his hips frantically moving into him and almost stuttering, Chan is already so close and so is him.

And when their orgasms rip through them, almost at the same time, Minho feels on cloud nine in his arms. Chan’s hand gripping his waist, so hard it will probably leave a trace – but Minho scratches at his back a little too much so they are even – and the long moan that escapes his lips is delightful. Minho loves his voice, be it giving orders or singing in the kitchen, Chan’s voice has the best sound ever in any occasion.

Chan looks at Minho as he gets down his high. He’s glowing, and to be honest, it’s the best image in the whole world, his slow panting and sweet satisfied smile. Chan’s hand pets his hair softly, slowly getting out of him.

Chan disposes of the condom and stands up the bed to retrieve a damp towel.

If Minho falls asleep sticky, he’ll get nervous and stay like that for the entire day. Better not risk it at all, so he quickly moves to the bathroom and when Minho sees him approach again, he smiles in his direction. He is sitting and drinking water and Chan stops in his steps, at the door with something so strange in his eyes.

Minho knows why he is like that. He’s really changed, he knows it himself, he is different in a lot of things as well as the others. But Chan realizing it leaves him shocked.

The redhead waves at Chan with one hand, passing him the bottle with the other. The elder sits next to him, exchanges the water for the towel. Chan watches as Minho passes it over his body, and again, Minho knows why he’s being stared at.

“Want to do it yourself or something?” he can’t stop himself from saying.

Chan chuckles, hand on his shoulder and finishing drinking, “I find it odd that you didn’t wait for me, I guess you really are different.”

“Scary?”

“A little,” Chan admits, taking the towel from Minho’s hand and throwing it on the floor, crawling on him, Minho lets him do as he pleases, giggling at him, “I know how you feel about us being different.”

Minho hums, Chan’s lips on his moving slowly and taking them like they are meant to be with Chan’s.

“At least you seem to feel better,” Minho says breaking the kiss and leaning forward, Chan’s arms getting him up in his lap, “I was so scared today, _dammit!_ ”

“I do,” Chan reassures, “sorry I made a mess today.”

“I know you saw red when they did what they wanted, but how the fuck did it happen that you forgot something there?”

Chan turns him around and makes his back adhere the sheets, moving the blankets to cover both, “well,” Chan clears his throat, chin in his hand to look at him better, “for the record, we were in a hurry and Seungmin had the laptop with him because I asked him to trace down some maps of the place and look for some different paths, but at some point we realized it was late and Seungmin lost the laptop in the process,” Minho looks at him, head on the big pillow, “Hyunjin noticed and went back, but the one of Changbin’s men found a way to ender a back door and almost found him, I don’t know who it was but the bastard shot, and Hyunjin– _fuck_ I know it was just a scratch, but it triggered my anger to the max and I went back to let him escape and then directly to burn the place down, I could already see how to do it and everything, I feel dumb for risking those lives but I didn’t care, I just wanted for him to pay for even thinking of shooting without even looking, who the fuck was even there I don’t know,” Chan looks away, a sharp breath trying to continue, “Changbin didn’t know and Jeongin told me he saw that bitch do as he pleases, I have to find him and make him pa–”

“No, Channie, although I understand you.” Minho’s hand is on his cheeks, caressing slightly one of the cuts under the eye.

“I know it was foolish, I could have died probably, I knew what I was doing but to hear a shot out of nowhere completely froze my heart,” Chan’s voice comes out shaky and Minho scoops closer, “anyway, Jeongin contacted me right in time to tell me that a police officer came out of that place, nothing on him so he didn’t find the laptop. I was left alone in a big palace, and I saw scarlet in front of my eyes.”

Minho takes a deep breath, trying to register all the new information.

“I am glad you are ok, I know you react like this, I know you are feeling so bad these days too, but seriously, please, speak to me, I beg you Channie,” Minho hugs him a little, legs over his hips and Chan holds him back, “I don’t want to see your face in a flaming light ever again, I thought we’ve been through that enough.”

“I am fine, I knew how to not injure myself too much, I am ok, maybe need to calm down.” He laughs bitterly, and Minho considers it’s time to speak clearly. They are not going anywhere like this, one of them has to tell things as they are.

“I know you’re having nightmares again, Chan.” Minho’s voice is breathy while the words roll on his tongue sharply.

“I am fine, I will sleep with you now, when I sleep with someone I feel safe so it’s usually very brief, and I’m past the panic attacks now, I have been recovering pretty good, well, except for my anger issues.” Chan explains to him like Minho is someone new, and it hurts him more than he would admit.

They’ll be fine, they need time. Minho keeps telling himself that, but it’s not working now that his anxiety is working behind his back.

“I am sorry I wasn’t there for you all this time…” Minho lets out.

“Don’t you dare feel remorse again, please Min.” Chan hugs him.

“I can’t help it I guess, I still feel like a stranger.”

“Take your time.”

_Oh, he has to._

“I will, I promise.”

“You’re not a stranger, it’s ok, and I need to speak to you more, I want to ask you so much, to make sure you are really feeling better, but not now, it’s not the right time now, with all this, you probably had your heart out in front of Jisung as well.” Chan tells him with a loving tone, kissing the shell of his ear.

Minho blushes a little at the thought of the other.

Well, Jisung insisted and Minho could not resist him at all, he’s so weak for them both.

“Sorry, I know, I made myself so unavailable, I want to tell you so much, but not now, you are right.”

“Don’t apologize, I have to do so too,” Chan looks at him fondly, “I can’t wait to have more time to love you, I am glad we’re here now.”

Minho sighs, trying to keep himself from crying again in his chest, “I love you, Chan, I am here for you, I am sorry but I am back, and I’m with you all.”

Chan smiles at that, “I love you too, I promise I will take better care, and we’ll be getting back to each other properly again.”

Minho throws himself at him, kissing his lips with all his might, and Chan kisses back with the same intensity but before the kiss can get deeper, Chan’s phone buzzes, a long sound that makes Minho gulp loudly.

They know who’s sending the message.

Chan takes it from the nightstand and looks at the screen, opening the message app.

The silence that falls between them is like a cold shower.

“He asks me why I burned down that place.” Chan says softly and Minho gets to his level, one hand on his chest and the other taking the phone to read the whole message.

“ _Tsk_ , tell him you left something there that could have given your identity,” Minho says angry as he gives the phone back, “it’s not really a lie but it’s not the truth either.”

That _damn_ laptop, Minho knew that duplicating all the codes of the cameras in their house on it was a mistake, better have them saved in only one.

Chan nods agreeing and when he’s done, he throws the phone on the bed, sighing and massaging his eyes. Minho leans in to kiss his nose and hold him.

“It’s ok, Channie, he has nothing on us,” he murmurs on his cheek, “we are together, we’ll get through this.” He tells that mostly to himself.

Two paranoids in this _family_ are a lot if you think of the consequences.

“I know,” Chan takes his hand and kisses it, then his forehead falls right on Minho’s shoulder, inhaling his scent, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Minho caresses his hair and tugs Chan under the blankets with him, sweettalking him into sleeping and falling asleep as well when he’s sure the elder is deep in the world of dreams.

Minho doesn’t want to think about the whole mess they’ll have to take care of tomorrow, and another work week is just about to start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how often I will update this, since I will probably write alot per chapter.  
> Anyways, if you enjoyed don't forget to leave kudos and comment, I usually need motivation to write more and especially this long here.  
> If u want to leave something or tell me anything on anon, here's my [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/Hana_Hana) and [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/mnhosuzuran)


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